“When you’re in pieces / you pick up the bits / and nothing fits /
and the wind blows you away. ” (‘Flakes’, Mystery Jets)
Do you look like you’re ‘together’, but inside feel like you’re all over the place?
Have you ever felt like you’re ‘ unravelling’…. Coming apart at the seams, simply from being in the wrong job, doing the wrong thing for most of the week, and having to be someone you’re not?
I have. So I know that when you feel like you’re in pieces, being stuck in a wrong career isn’t a little niggle. It’s not you ‘being difficult’ and demanding more than you deserve.
It’s a BIG DEAL. It’s all consuming (the stress about this eats into your evenings too, right?). And no wonder. Our identities are wound up with our careers. We spend more time doing and thinking about out work than on any one other thing. Our futures feel linked to the work we do.
The result? Double the pressure.
You pile on a shovel load of frustration and a few pounds of guilt for not just growing up and sorting this mess out. In desperation you grasp any bits (or ideas) you can find and try to make a picture of where you could go, what you could do, how to get out.
But nothing fits.
And you unravel, again.
Familiar?
Being in pieces is no fun. Feeling like you don’t belong is no fun. If this is you, I’m sorry. Sometimes I think people in the career change world lose sight of how much this sucks. And it does suck.
But it is ok to feel like this. Really. Feeling like this means you’re no longer pretending that things will ‘work themselves out’. It means you’ve admitted where you are now is wrong for you.
Unravelling is your first step.
But it’s no place to stay.
So let’s get those pieces together, this time built in a way that fits you.
You’re not going to do this by mulling things over alone. Or by beating yourself up or giving up.
You need to do something different, and change your environment and habits. This is do-able.
1. For example, find a support system. You need a support crew (people who think it’s normal to change careers, and that you do deserve something more), and you can get this online, in a formal group, or by reconsidering who you spend time with.
2. Another change you can make is to find ways of being proud of what you have to offer, naturally. If you’re in pieces, you are probably feeling down about your strengths. But trust me they are there.
Figure out what makes you special. How can you bend the rules by being you? If your strength is making connections with people, how can you do that to get closer to what you want? If you naturally shine by writing, how can you use that?
Let’s get you back together the right way. With new thinking, and the permission to take things one step at a time.
“They don’t teach these things at school / they just lay down the rules which are there for / you to break.”
(‘Flakes’, Mystery Jets) -> if you like the lyrics, a sample of the song is below
Photo by 1Happysnapper
