I get a lot of enquiries from people who want to change career.
Most of the emails I get are from lovely people who feel desperate and frustrated at going around in circles with no idea of what to do next.
They say “I know I must sound strange/sad/desperate.”. Trust me. You don’t. You sound lovely, if a little lost. Compare yourself to this:
Meet the Ones Who Are Just Awful.
I’m generally pretty nice. (Unless someone uses poor punctuation then I come across all bad-ass streetfighter, but that’s another story).
And I want to help everybody. However, working in this life-change field, I’ve learnt that some people can’t be helped. Not because of circumstances, but because of attitude.
Here are the people I don’t work with, no matter what they offer me:
My ‘No-gos’ are people (usually men, strangely) with an incredibly high sense of entitlement, coupled with zero empathy, and a belief that everything that has gone wrong in their life is other people’s fault.
They are the occupational hazard of the career change world. They’re looking for someone new to blame (and they’re happy to pay you for the privilege).
I’m known among my colleagues for having a very high no-go-radar – I can pick the freaks in one email now.
Here’s how that email goes:
PART 1: I’M BRILLIANT! They will tell you in detail about their genius qualities in the first email. I’ve received IQ scores.
PART 2: BUT NO ONE CAN SEE IT: However despite this shining glory, the world has somehow missed their genius (they have a history of being overlooked constantly. Victims of a cruel world).
PART 3: OH, AND I WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD: They want something big, but intangible. Like, in one memorable recent email, becoming “one of the most influential people in the world”. They then sign off with asking a question about how precisely you (cretin) can benefit them (the golden one) in their journey.
They wonder why people don’t jump at the chance to work with them? There it is, a leeetle clue right there. I guarantee that if I put these people into one of my groups, they would tear the others apart, then complain about the lack of attention.
I used to try to help these people. Now I just move them right along, because there is nothing I can do… and because I have a responsibility to my clients. I only do group coaching, so taking a risk on one borderline person impacts on others (you gotta play nice!). I’d never expose my lovely clients to that behaviour (Hence why all my clients are now handpicked for decentness!)
Sadly, some people are just awful.
But odds are you’re not. Being basically a nice person is not something you can teach – but it is something YOU have already.
So when you hear the stats about all the people who want to change career? They’re just stats. Account for people like that, and your odds just shortened.
Photo by Striatic
